Loneliness and Your Soul’s Compass

The weight of loneliness is deeply unpleasant. Not only are you alone, but it's the opposite of what you want, with little understanding or confidence in your ability to navigate a way through.

Loneliness is estrangement from oneself or others. We miss and long for something that is not there. Sometimes, loneliness might look like grief. We care, yearn, ache, or mourn for what was but is no longer. Grief and mourning make us feel lonely.

We might even feel anxiety about our loneliness and anticipate a future where we're all alone and have no one to care for, or to care for us. Sometimes, we feel lonely for something before it gets there. We hope to eventually fill that void for what the lonely part wants.

We can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely, or physically alone while being emotionally content. The situation and context always matter when uncovering the deeper issues. It's not always easy to notice ourselves completely or make much sense of what feels tight, heavy, or confusing. None of us get to self-awareness on our own. We need others to see or reflect on parts of us we're somehow blind to.

Connection is essential to human well-being. In our hyper-technological world, many people still feel like they have no one to open up to, turn to, or pour their hearts out with. When we’re well, we’re usually not isolated. It makes sense that we long for the comfort of knowing and being known by others. Loneliness might be your soul calling for you to make an initial connection. What if curiosity about what's happening is the first step toward recovering your wholeness?

Counseling for loneliness, depression, or burnout invites us to explore and understand what's happening inside us, to get curious about it. Yet, thinking about seeing what's inside might frighten us. Seeing what's true for us is the step of empowerment, and still, that can feel scary if we’ve learned to live as less than well for so long. We cannot change what we don’t see clearly or understand. Getting underneath our feelings, lifting them up, starts the process of change.

Regardless of life's unknowns and uncertainties, it helps to sit with someone who won't judge or have an agenda beyond a deeper understanding of what your grief or loneliness means to you. We already intuitively know this: being in relationships where we are not judged helps us get closer to self-acceptance, which is the truest form of freedom.

Psychotherapy is a place to explore what loneliness is telling you. What do you need that is not currently there? What are you yearning for, striving after? Where have you split off from knowing the richness that is your whole self? By reconnecting to all your parts, you generate a more profound connection with yourself, accessing the inherent wisdom you already have but somehow got blocked from. With the right partner, a trained and empathetic psychotherapist, therapy is a space to uncover the answers you seek, moving toward a more fulfilling life. Psychotherapy can help you understand your loneliness, untangle from your depression, and overcome burnout.

Psychotherapy is a structured container to explore unfiltered thoughts, feelings, and core needs, allowing you access to understanding and addressing your loneliness.

Most clients find it relieving that psychotherapy does not have to be organized, cohesive, or planned. This lack of pressure can be a relief. There is no homework in depth psychotherapy. The goal is to explore the deeper, often unconscious, aspects of your experience and behavior. Don’t plan or prepare; we observe, notice, think, and feel what’s happening inside. The work always happens in the present, here and now. However difficult, if we can learn to stay with what is here and now, we can stretch ourselves, expanding beyond our baseline of comfort, and get to know these edges of discomfort and what they might be telling us.

Your loneliness points to something. It could be that you need more connection. There's a tension between what's here now (a longing) and what was (grief) or needs to be (desire).

In depth psychotherapy, there is no agenda beyond self-knowledge: discovering what's inside through helping what's inside come out. The mysterious parts of life often take time to uncover.

If you're feeling lonely, ask yourself: What or who are you lonely for? Is it community or creation? Are you lonely for someone else or another part of yourself? Are you lonely for your own self-acceptance?

One perspective on loneliness is that you can't be lonely if you like who you're with. We start yearning for something that feels like it's missing, but what if what's missing is a piece of us that somehow got shut down, shut out, or split off? We can look for that piece of us in others for our entire lives, never filling the void and forever inside us.

Boredom is a form of loneliness. We're unfulfilled, and whatever stimulation is around me is not satisfying. We might feel depressed and bored, lacking interest or motivation for our day-to-day worlds. There might be nothing that gets us going, no purpose, and not much to live for.

How might your loneliness be your soul's compass trying to steer you back on track? Counseling for loneliness creates a safe space to get to know your longings, which point to your core needs. Psychotherapy is a nonjudgmental container where you can explore what's missing. Ultimately, acknowledging and voicing your loneliness out loud can be the first move toward rediscovering your true self, filling the gaps, and making connections that fulfill your heart.

Are you ready to learn more about yourself? Reach out whenever you’re ready to take the next step.