Embracing Paradoxes: The Dance of Life
Life is a paradox.
We can't have death without Life. Life would not be what it is if it weren't for death to solidify that aliveness matters. That Life is impermanence moving through time gives it a preciousness. We miss Life if asleep, spaced out, or not present.
Presence always comes with absence. There would be no full experience of presence without absence to remind us how it feels to be alone, by ourselves or met only with distance in another.
Distances come in many forms. Physically, we can be separated in bodies, minds, hearts, or through lifetimes, apart in death. We can become distant from ourselves, distracted in other lands of mind, thought, or stimulation. An elsewhere. We can be distant relationally, unable to be truly connected, close, intimate. To feel connection is to feel a there, there. But distance leaves us cold, yearning for more than we currently have.
We all want to be happy and develop some idea that that's the goal of how we should always be. And if we're not, then something needs to be fixed. Yet, to fully feel happy, we must know sadness and grief. Otherwise, happiness is shallow, meant for appearance, and easily manufactured. So, for true happiness to exist, one must have felt true sadness.
Freedom and commitment seem to conflict, but the opposite is true. One cannot be free in oneself without full responsibility. Commitment to the moment: To see what happens, we must let go completely of what we want to happen—pure openness. We surrender to what will happen outside of our control.
We think we must control Life to be happy. But this is anxiety-talking. Fear tells us no, I'm afraid, I was hurt, I don't trust Life. So we try to organize what happens, wasting energy and depriving ourselves of vitality. If we're lucky, we learn and realize we have little control. Acceptance might be one of the most beautifully surrendered things, letting our anxiety be instead of responding to it with force from Life. Acceptance often takes much practice.
Practice takes time, and time demands patience. Patience builds space for presence—with oneself and with others. What else is important in this Life?
Pleasure wouldn't feel good if Pain didn't show us an alternative potential. Loss wouldn't hurt if it weren't for Love to give it value. Left wouldn't be left if it weren't for Right to be what it is. As for straight, it is too wavy, curvy, and smooth.
To be free inside ourselves and know who we are, we must be genuinely committed to understanding ourselves: to witness, to see, to appreciate, to forgive, and to understand. We become lighter in knowing our darkness and depths. In our individual journeys, we can alter the collective course.
